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A clip from Horror Stories: My Paramedic Memoir

1 DEATH

Quote:

“The amazing miracle of death, when one second you’re walking and talking, and the next second, you’re an object”- Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

*Chuck hit the bull’s eye here.  I read that he had volunteered in hospice before so I’m sure he has seen death.  As for the word ‘miracle’…, well if you’ve ever read Palahniuk I think you will agree that the choice of word is most likely bitter sarcasm.  On a side note, Chuck is a fucking rock star but that’s neither here nor there…

                                                   

      Watching people die and seeing dead bodies after the fact is something almost anyone in the medical field is going to have to encounter sooner or later.  At the same time, outside of a funeral setting it is something the average person will never have to deal with.   For paramedics and EMTs it is pretty much guaranteed that you will see it frequently and pretty early on.

     Watching people’s bodies shut down for good in front of you is a lot different than getting there and having them be stiff.  Most of the death I have seen has involved the patients being dead before we arrived.   Occasionally someone calls 911 soon enough and we get there and they are still alive then crash but usually the people should have called much sooner however we all die eventually and a lot of the cardiac arrests we get are simply hopeless. 

    Death is often sanitized in American culture.  People hear about it and see it in movies but most people don’t have to come face to face with it very often.  Seeing the dead can be sobering and usually has a surreal feel to it but it can also make you glad that it’s not you yet.  Seeing death can also make you reconsider any self-destructive habits you may have especially when its young deaths.  An old person dying is natural and people realize it will happen it is nature but when young people die it always seems un-natural.

      I haven’t technically seen a child die but I have seen them with very little time left and close to death and that is bad enough.   I don’t want to see it ever, nobody does, but that’s not realistic.  Most paramedics I have talked to tend to agree that pediatric calls are the absolute worst as they hit you the hardest.  Still in extreme situations we have to stay calm and totally focus on what needs to be done to save a patient regardless of how you might feel about it emotionally.  A lot of people couldn’t handle it at all and eventually paramedics can burn-out which is when they’ve just had enough.  I am nowhere close to burn out I am really just warming up but it does happen. 

     There are also the total nightmare calls you here about that can be it for some people, such as a school bus full of kids going off a bridge or something like that.  When a lot of people are hurt all at once from the same event we call it a mass casualty incident, luckily where I live they are rare but from what I’ve heard they sound like a nightmare emotionally, physically, mentally and logistically.  If let’s say 100 people were all hurt then you would need a lot of responders and there would be tons of work to do.  Mass casualty incidents can cause further problems though.  Now you have 100 patients, where are you going to put them all once they are ready for transport? ERs do not have unlimited space, resources and staff and many any not set up to take serious trauma or a lot of people all at once.  In addition counties and states and countries don’t have unlimited ambulances and people to run them so you can end up having to call for help outside of your area if it is bad enough. 

     From the outside looking in paramedics can be seen as cold or heartless in how we react to stuff that make other people lose it.  An example is some paramedics and firefighters tell really offensive and crude jokes sometimes about our patients later on.  This might appear cold but it is really just a coping mechanism.  In other words after you see some fucked up shit you have to be able to shake it off somehow and joking about it can make it easier to handle.  If we couldn’t handle the stress somehow we wouldn’t be able to deal with the stuff we see from day to day over and over again and effectively and wouldn’t be able to help patients.  For squeamish people working a cardiac arrest would be nearly impossible. 

     On one of my first ER clinicals a veteran firefighter paramedic told us if you can’t laugh about the bad stuff it will eat you alive.  He also said that you have to be crazy or retarded to sign up for emergency medical services which could be true! 

My First Dead Body

    One thing some people like to do is mess with students and new people.  One day I was doing a ride-along at a fire department and we were eating breakfast and one of the guys asked me if I had seen a dead body yet-regular dinner table conversation at a firehouse.  I hadn’t but that day I saw my first one.

      The first one shook me up a little.  A young man probably not much older than me (I am 25) had gone swimming at the beach and had drowned. He was just lying there when we got there with life guard doing chest compressions.  Another crew pronounced him before we could try to work him.  They had apparently been doing CPR for a long time with no response at all and he had been in the water for a long time according to his friends.  They ran an EKG strip and he was asystole which is a flat line like you see on movies and TV, however unlike in fiction defibrillating (shocking) it won’t do anything.  We can’t shock all dead people, well we can but unless they are in certain lethal rhythms it won’t do anything.  

     A common misconception is that defibrillation starts the heart but the opposite is true.  We defibrillate 2 main rhythms called Ventricular tachycardia (pulseless) and Ventricular fibrillation AKA V-tach and V-fib for short.  In these rhythms there is electrical activity in the heart but its abnormal and not doing what it needs to do to pump blood.  The idea of defibrillation is hit the heart with a ton of electricity and knock out all electrical activity so that the heart can restart itself in the proper rhythm.  Because asystole is the absence of electrical activity so defibrillation won’t fix that.  With v-tach the heart’s ventricles (bottom large chambers of the heart that pump blood) are beating so fast that they aren’t able to produce a pulse and pump blood and blood is life.  V-tach can also be with a pulse but when live patients are in v-tach they are usually in really bad shape.  Other patients can have runs of v-tach meaning they can go from stable to v-tach and back to stable but if they know this they usually have internal defibrillators kind of like a pace maker but not exactly.  A pace maker gives shocks to the heart if the rate goes too low to speed it back up while defibrillators zap it when its going too fast or into a lethal rhythm.  In the field we can externally pace people when their pulse is too slow and we can cardiovert when it is too fast but they do have pulses.  Cardioversion is similar to defibrillation but it is not done to dead people, what it does is zaps the heart to slow it down versus knocking out bad electrical activity.  I could get a lot more technical than that but I don’t want to be dry.

 

Rollover with Ejection

       My first hand on cardiac arrest was my first and only dead person who had a return of pulse after his heart had stopped.  He had been in a rollover accident on a highway and had been ejected out of a window (where your seat belts!).  He had landed on the pavement.  We got the call as a respiratory distress (difficulty breathing) but before we arrived on scene they had updated his status to cardiac arrest.  When we got there people were already doing CPR so we took over and they gave me the job of chest compression while they got IVs and put in a breathing tube.

     We loaded him up doing CPR and rescue breathing while we moved.  Rescue breathing is done with a bag valve mask or BVM which is like a balloon you squeeze that fills patients lungs with air every time you squeeze it when their body cant breath for itself.  Mouth to mouth is mostly discouraged now as it is dangerous and its also disgusting.  The downside is that we were using a basic tube which also cause air to be pumped into their stomach which can cause dead people to throw up which is totally crazy when patients vomit and can’t control their airway they can aspirate (breath in fluids) which can cause asphyxiation and infection if they live-in other words they can drown in their own stomach contents.  What that means is that we can’t say gross instead we have to work fast to suction which also became my job or else we can compromise our patient’s airway.

      Not too long into our trip we had been doing CPR for a while and had given some IV fluids to replace blood loss and we did a pulse check and sure enough he had strong pulses and a decent blood pressure and this guys was very dead.  Of course unlike fiction they don’t just jump up and start having a conversation with you they usually stay unconscious and still need a hospital badly and are prone to crashing again.  His heart was working again and he was moving around a little but still was totally out and we still had to breathe for him all the way to the hospital.  Usually if their regaining consciousness they will try and un-tube themselves and he made no effort.  We transferred care with no change.  He had taken blow to the head, had who knows what for internal injuries and had lost some blood so he was still in bad shape and I would honestly be surprised if he survived but I never found out.  It’s not uncommon at all to drop off patients and never here about their final outcome but usually you forget because many days you can run calls one after another.

     After this call the back of the ambulance and my uniform was a bloody mess.  We had to clean blood and vomit and who knows what else off of nearly every surface and piece of equipment.  I was so covered that they told me to go home shower and change.  I changed out of my uniform at the station and wash it there as they recommended, nobody wants to take something contaminated home with them because you don’t want potentially infectious clothing where you live and it is just gross.   I wasn’t thinking it was gross at the time because I was on an adrenaline high.  It was my first hands on cardiac arrest and we had got a pulse back which could be counted as a save but some people say it’s not a save unless they walk out of the hospital healed, I say if their alive when we drop them off we did our job since hospitals sometimes think we are just a meat wagon which is fine because we have nick names for hospitals that imply they kill people too.  One joke some medics use is if you lose a patient you killed them, even if you did everything right mainly because ball busting is common among paramedics and firefighters and because it just helps lighten the mood.

      A very shocking part of CPR that is actually quite common is breaking ribs.  I have broken ribs on patients twice that I can remember.  You know it happens because you can feel it, sometimes here it and there are times when you can actually see it.  We are taught that if you aren’t busting ribs you probably aren’t pushing hard enough with your chest compressions.  It isn’t to say that breaking ribs is a good thing or that we want to break ribs but that you have to push hard in order to manually pump a dead persons heart and the amount of force it takes to do that often will break ribs. 

 

Broken Chest

     The worst case where I broke ribs was brutal.  We got a call for respiratory distress at dentist office meaning a patient wasn’t breathing well.  We got there and that was an understatement.  The patient looked like hell.  He was an elderly man with cancer and had been on chemotherapy.  Being old, having cancer and going through chemo makes for a nasty triple cocktail for very brittle bones.  He was clinging to life.  He was barely breathing and his pulse was around thirty and plummeting.  We quickly loaded him onto the stretcher and rushed him to our ambulance after putting him on high flow oxygen.  Right about when we put him in the ambulance his heart stopped and we lit up the truck and raced to the hospital and got to work. 

     I started chest compressions after putting an IV and one arm and another medic put one in the other.  I started cracking ribs almost immediately.  About at the same time another medic was ventilating him and just by holding the patients jaw (a needed step to form a proper seal with a bag valve mask and properly ventilate) and the jaw broke.  It was so brittle that just broke from the medic trying to breath for him.  Anyone whose never seen what cancer and chemotherapy can do to the human body might see that and think the medic was being rough of course the hospital didn’t think anything of it, the guy looked like a holocaust victim-skin and bones.   By the time we got to the hospital we had given him multiple doses of cardiac arrest drugs, if I remember right we gave him two doses of epinephrine and atropine, neither did anything.  It seemed like his whole ribcage was destroyed.  As we transferred care and I continued CPR while we were waiting for the doctor to pronounce him dead the bone fragments of what was left of his chest were starting to stab into my hands.  If we had continued for much longer Im sure the fragments would have broken through his skin, my gloves and into my flesh which would have been a nightmare because that would have been a great way to get infected if he had anything blood borne we didn’t know about.  At about that time the doctor decided enough was enough.   You can only do so much for a cardiac arrest before you have to call it quits because at a certain point if you’ve done everything you can and made no progress you have to accept that they aren’t coming back and you have to move on.

 

 Rigor Mortis

     Another cardiac arrest I had involved a middle-aged woman.  She was lying on the floor of her house with a distraught family member, husband or boyfriend or whoever he was standing by begging us to help which never makes things easier.  We through the drug box at her; meaning we gave her everything we could.  First thing first we checked for a pulses or breathing and put the monitor in her to check for a rhythm-no pulses or breathing and a flat lined EKG. 

     I started CPR.  Pop, pop, pop, ribs breaking under my hands.  Another medic started to ventilate her with a BVM.  They wanted to tube her and I volunteered.  They asked me if I had tubed anyone before and I said I had so they let me try.  I moved to behind her head so I was in position to intubate.  I opened the airway kit and pulled out the “blade” which is used to help us visualize the trachea’s opening.  It is a metal device with a light on it so you can see down the through.  You have to be careful or you can break people’s teeth with it.  There was white fluid pooling in the back of her throat, I don’t want to know what it was.  We suctioned her throat out to clear her airway.  I gripped her head so I could open her mouth and put the blade in.  I tried to open her mouth but it wouldn’t budge.  Rigor mortis had locked her jaw shut.  I gave her some more ventilations and told the other medics she was locked shut.  They decided to put in a combi-tube which is blind insertion.  We had to force the tube in and one of the balloons broke on her teeth since her mouth was barely open and that wasn’t going to change unless we broke her jaw which we would never do deliberately.  With a broken balloon we couldn’t get a good seal so the ventilations were weak but better than nothing at least we were getting some oxygen to her lungs.

    At this point we had given her two rounds of epinephrine (adrenalin), two rounds of atropine (  ), one dose of D50 (sugar; she had low blood glucose), one dose of Narcan (an opiate antagonist; used to reverse narcotic overdoses which never hurts and every cardiac arrest is a potential overdose), one dose of sodium bicarbonate (an electrolyte that reverses metabolic acidosis; in English when you die your blood starts to turn acidic which creates a hostile environment for cells) plus some saline which can help with hypervolemia (fluid loss or shock) and a ton of CPR.  After all that there was no change and we had to call it; we had to pronounce her dead.  We told the guy we were sorry but she was dead.  Never passed away, moved on, in a better place or anything else always DEAD.  You have to make it crystal clear that the patient is dead and the only way to do that is to use the word dead.  He didn’t like that, not that anyone could blame him since he had just lost someone he obviously cared about.  He was in shock I imagine he thought we were going to save her.

“She’s dead?!” he said and cried and we apologized.  He didn’t believe it I know he said some other stuff too but I can’t remember what. We left him there, we had to we can try to comfort them a little but we have other places to go and don’t really have a lot of time to help someone grieve.  The cops would bag the body for the coroner to come pick up.  We aren’t really trained to do it either we aren’t therapists.  Work them and forget them then move on and do it all over again.

     I think she was hopeless when we got there.  A locked jaw is a bad sign and a medic probably would have been justified in an immediate pronouncing of death.  It wasn’t my call and still was good experience.  We did everything we could and did everything right.  But rigidity is usually an indicator that they have been dead for a while and once the brain is gone it’s gone.

 

He’s watching TV!

     The arrest that made us laugh a little was totally hopeless.  We weren’t laughing at the death itself in this case but just the setting.  We arrived at a trailer park.  A neighbor had called because they said this guy wasn’t looking so good.  We got to the trailer.  A man was sitting in the recliner with his feet proper up watching TV.  He was very dead.  I didn’t even see his face but from my angle he looked totally peaceful.  It took the lead medic about half a second to pronounce him.  The air conditioner was on and he said the guy’s skin was room temp- dead.  He had to have been dead for a while because his whole body was the temperature of the air conditioning and that doesn’t happen quickly.  However once I had a patient in an ER who was alive enough to talk and move around who was in severe hypothermia due to I believe pancreas failure if I remember right.  She was icy which makes me wonder about this guy.  But he was totally lifeless.  He didn’t twitch at our arrival and didn’t show any responsiveness at all and he was stiff-rigor.  The medic was confident that he was gone.  He was a medic I worked with a lot on clinical rotations who I trusted completely and who had a ridiculous amount of experience and taught me a lot.  It was a discretion call and everyone trusted his.

     The reason we laughed was because the guy seemed totally comfortable.  Of all the ways you can die there are much worse ones out there since it didn’t look like he had suffered at all.  Nobody said his face was grimacing and he wasn’t locked into an uncomfortable position.  I imagine he probably fell asleep and had a blood clot go to his brain and never knew what hit him.  He most likely died in his sleep.

      

A clip from Zibaria

Zibaria is part one of my new dark fantasy series, here is a taste(from the rough draft)

CHAPTER TWO

ZIMKIR FOREST

          Before Hector was born there had been roads leading from Hitras to Olgorash that cut right through Zimkir.  Over time the roads had sunk.  Zimkir wasn’t always as wet as it now was but with no warning the forest mysteriously started its transformation into the swampy rainforest Hector knew it as.  This made the forest much more treacherous.  Around the same time the roads leading from through the desert to the edge of the forest were slowly swallowed up by loosening sands.

     Hector reached the tree line.  At this point the land was still dry and the environment was still very desert like but with every step he could feel more moisture in the air and the trees seemed to get closer together as there were more and more of them.  The trees were tall dark green with big green leaves and closely resembled cypresses.  The trees were wrapped in thick heavy vines that looked like subterranean tentacles reaching up to drag them underground.  In fact the vines did grow straight out of the ground.  Tall grass and moss covered everything.  There were also many palmetto bushes throughout the forest.  Hector heard what sounded like a mix of thousands of birds singing in every direction. 

     After about an hour Hector had to use his sword like a machete to make his own path because there wasn’t one here.  Maps were practically useless in Zimkir but Hector knew Olgorash was to the west and his compass was all he needed to get there.  Hector heard some bushes rustle to his right and readied himself for anything.  He drew his crossbow and scanned the area.  A porcupine with red quills the size of a sheep burst out of the bushes about fifty feet in front of him.  

     The animal saw Hector and paused for a second.  It looked right at his eyes and hissed, bearing long thin teeth that could have left a nasty bite.  A moment later it ran off into another patch of bushed as if nothing happened and disappeared.  A porcupine like this would be unusual to people on Earth but it was typical for Zimkir; actually it was on the small side.

     Not long after the porcupine encounter when the desert was out of sight behind him Hector sensed something else.  He didn’t hear or see anything but it felt like he was being watched.  He had a sixth sense for sensing ambushes which had saved his life many times.  He stopped walking and drew his crossbow again.

“Is anyone out there?” said Hector “I already killed seven bandits today.  If you attack me it will be the last mistake you make!”  There was a long silence.

“If I come out slowly will you still shoot me?” said an unseen voice.  “I am no bandit”

“Come out slowly then” Hector said, still with his crossbow ready.

“I will.  But know if I wanted you dead you would be already” said the voice.  Hector chuckled to himself a little.  How many times have I heard something similar?

     A thin man taller than Hector casually walked out from a group of trees maybe ten feet to the right of Hector.  He was a Gudar; a native of the continent Gudaria.  Often called shadow people they were seen in Zibaria from time to time and Hector had met a few of them.  Gudars look like humans for the most part but had some striking differences.  The most noticeable difference is their skin which was the color of charcoal which made them naturally good at blending in at night and in dark places like Zimkir.  Their finger and toe nails as well as their teeth were also solid jet black but under certain light had a shine to them.  The eyes were solid in color and lacked whites, irises or distinguishable pupils and at this point were also black but Hector knew they could change.  The other difference that was hard to notice from a distance was a complete lack of hair.  They had no eyebrows, eyelashes or hair on their face, head or any other part of their bodies.  If it wasn’t for these differences they would look totally human.

      Gudars were known for being excellent warriors and were always much stronger than they looked.  Hector had seen them fight before and suddenly realized that if this one had attacked him he could have been in trouble.  The Gudar looked Hector up and down.  He had a sword like an old English claymore and quiver full of arrows across his back.  A longbow hung on his right shoulder.  Hector had never seen a bow like it.  It was also black, as was the sword but seemed to be made of glass or polished bone.  The Gudar only wore thin black leather pants.  He was shirtless and barefoot.  The lack of armor wasn’t something to be underestimated.  Gudars were very hard to kill.  There bones were like iron and their skin rivaled the toughest animal hides.  A lack of armor let them move quickly and fatigue slowly.  In battles they would sometimes where full plate mail armor but Hector knew the one standing before him was dressed typically.

     They sized each other up for a moment then both relaxed.  Hector had his crossbow ready to fire and the Gudar’s weapons weren’t in his hands but he wondered if he would have been able to kill him fast enough had the man decided to attack.  In one battle he had fought alongside a Gudar mercenary and watched him take multiple blows from swords and bows that barely stunned him.

“I mean you know harm I am on my pilgrimage” said the Gudar

“Pilgrimage?” said Hector.  He had never heard of a Gudar pilgrimage.

“Yes, pilgrimage.  I have crossed Zibaria and am on my way to Olgorash.  My name is Tahvah what is yours?”

“Hector.  I am heading for Olgorash as well” said Hector

“Would you mind putting that away?  Those things sting and I don’t know if you have an itchy trigger finger” said Tahvah pointing at Hector’s crossbow.  Hector had forgotten he was still holding it and his finger was resting on its trigger.

“Oh! Sorry about that but Zimkir is dangerous” he said then slung the crossbow over his back.  Then he added with a confident grin “But I don’t have an itchy trigger finger”

 “Thank you Hector” said Tahvah “You are right it is dangerous here.  You are wise to have your guard up.  Why do you travel to Olgorash?”

“I need to catch a train to Kimklaf” said Hector “What about you? I have never heard of a Gudar pilgrimage”

“I am traveling to Kimklaf as well.  If we travel together our chances of surviving this forest are better” said Tahvah “Walk with me and I will tell you of my people’s pilgrimage”

“Ok.  We have to trust each other though” said Hector

“You can trust me.  My people either kill or let live but we do not lie.  Lying is weak and doing it will actually make us sick” said Tahvah who then extended an open hand.

“Interesting…” said Hector.  He approached Tahvah and they shook hands and as they did Tahvah’s eyes turned bright orange then back to black when they released.  This didn’t surprise Hector.  Orange was new but he had seen the color change before.

“You have the grip of a Gudar my new friend” said Tahvah then added “A Gudar woman!”  He grinned showing shiny black but pristine teeth.  In humans teeth only turned black when they were rotten but for Gudars it was completely normal. 

“I will take that as a complement” said Hector

“You should.  Let’s walk” said Tahvah.  He turned and started walking deeper into the forest with Hector beside him.

     The forest was very swampy at this point.  The trees grew out of pools of murky water and the ground in between them was soft and moist.  While Hector was focused on the path ahead he couldn’t stop glancing Tahvah’s bow.  It mesmerized him, he sensed it was magical.  Tahvah noticed his interest.

“You like my bow?” said Tahvah  

“I do.  I have never seen anything like it” said Hector

“It is a Zeprah bow” said Tahvah

“A what?” asked Hector, his eyes widening at the thought of what that probably meant

“You do know what a Zeprah is right?” said Tahvah

“I do.  I know some that live in this forest” said Hector

“Well then you know some of them can be nasty creatures.  This allows me to use a mean one without letting it defile my body.  Think of it as a prison for an angry spirit.  It is a formidable weapon” said Tahvah.  He drew the bow from his shoulder.  When his hand touched it his eyes and the bow glowed faintly red.  Without placing an arrow in it pulled the bows string back.  The air around them vibrated and an arrow made entirely out of fire materialized.  Tahvah released the string and the fire arrow flew into one of the pools around a tree where it was extinguished with a hiss.

“That is incredible!” said Hector

“You should see what it does when it hits something other than water” said Tahvah.  He held out the bow for Hector.  “You try, just don’t hit the brush or we could burn…”

“I would love to.  Don’t worry I can shoot” said Hector.  He took the bow and fired an arrow into the pool of water then returned it to Tahvah.

“That is amazing.  Where can I get one?” said Hector

“They aren’t something you can just buy.  There are proving grounds on Gudaria.  At the proving ground an archer faces a trial.  If you pass and the trial doesn’t kill you a Zeprah bow is awarded.  I have seen humans attempt the trial but none have survived it.  Enough of my people die hoping for these bows.  The trial is no small task” said Tahvah

“Gudaria is on the other side of Geldekru!” said Hector

“Yes it is a long way from here.  You could always try to kill me and take it for yourself but I wouldn’t recommend that” said Tahvah

“I’m not a murderer or a thief.  If I ever reach Gudaria I will have to face this trial though” said Hector

“I would like to see that.  You may be no murderer or thief but you would have better odds taking it from me than facing the trial” said Tahvah

“I might surprise you” said Hector

“You might.  I haven’t seen you fight yet” said Tahvah

“Other Gudars have.  They were impressed” said Hector

“You have fought with Gudars?” asked Tahvah

“Yes several.  I am a mercenary, so were they” said Hector

“What were their names?” asked Tahvah

“Ulati, Kirvah and Sirpesh” said Hector

“I know Ulati; he is an old friend and a great warrior.  I haven’t heard of the others” said Tahvah

“I was glad he was on my side” said Hector

“I don’t blame you.  Are you still in touch with him?” said Tahvah

“He gave me his address on Gudaria but I haven’t talked to him.  I have never been off of Zibaria” said Hector

“You have to see Gudaria before you die.  It is paradise and we treat guests like royalty” said Tahvah

“I would like to see the whole world in time” said Hector

“There are places you wouldn’t want to see…” said Tahvah

“So I hear.  Tell me about this pilgrimage” said Hector

“My people do not worship gods instead we worship Geldekru.  This planet is our god.  Every living thing is sacred to us as is the land.  We don’t pray to Geldekru, only respect it.  All Gudars must go on a pilgrimage before we die but when we do it is up to the individual” said Tahvah

“What does the pilgrimage require you to do?” asked Hector

“We travel the world.  See all of the major sights and meet the different people and help who we can.  While on pilgrimage we are not to start fights with anyone unless they pose a threat to us or an innocent.  On Zibaria that meant seeing the White Desert and Zimkir forest and helping who I have met along the way.  But my time here is done” said Tahvah

“My time here is finished as well for now.  Where are you headed next?” said Hector

“Gool” said Tahvah

“That is interesting.  I wonder, do you believe in fate?” said Hector

“I do believe in fate why do you ask?” said Tahvah

“Because I am on my way to Gool as well” said Hector “I intend to take a ship there from Kimklaf”

“Then we are both on the same path.  It is likely that fate has brought us together.  I doubt it is a coincidence that we are both leaving Zibaria and headed to Gool at the same time.  What do you seek in Gool?” said Tahvah

“I’m seeking war” said Hector

“That’s right you said you are a mercenary.  Gool has fallen on dark days but I have little doubt you can find work there” said Tahvah

“All I know is there was another uprising and the whole place is said to be a battleground now” said Hector

“That’s correct but it is complicated.  What do you know about Gool?” said Tahvah

“Very little, what do you mean it is complicated?” replied Hector

“King Horak has a real mess on his hands.  He is a good king.  He had always been fair, kind and provided for his people.  He is very intelligent and has kept Gool safe throughout his reign despite a handful of small uprisings.  But this is no regular uprising; a sickness is making people crazy there.  In all honesty those attacking Horak’s forces aren’t bad people.  The disease is controlling them.  Either way they have to be stopped or Gool will fall.  That is all I know.  I haven’t been there since it started and information coming from Gool these days doesn’t explain much.  What I am sure of is that I will do anything to help Horak.  Gool has been friendly to Gudaria since both kingdoms first rose” said Tahvah      

“I never heard anything bad about King Horak.  I didn’t know what side I would choose to help but now it seems clear” said Hector

“Horak would be glad to have your assistance.  Now I am convinced fate has united us” said Tahvah then he added “And he will pay you well for your services”

“What is Gool like?” asked Hector

“It was once very beautiful but now I fear it will be quite different” said Tahvah

      They reached the edge of a clearing.  It was a large grassy plain and the ground was much firmer here.  The forest was all around them making the clearing a perfect place for a trap.  They both sensed danger immediately.

“It’s either through it or around it” said Hector

“Around could take a while” said Tahvah “But through it might be problematic…” said Tahvah

“The whole forest is problematic…welcome to Zibaria” said Hector

“Let’s move quickly then but be ready for a fight” said Tahvah as he drew his bow and walked into the clearing.  Hector drew his crossbow and entered the clearing.

     They were both looking around for movement when Hector detected a Zeprah.  When Zeprahs were nearby a person could feel their heart beat and the blood flow through their veins.  He knew it would be useful and hoped it was a good one. Only one way to fight out he thought.

“There’s a Zeprah here.  I’m going to use it” said Hector

“Have fun and good luck” said Tahvah

     Zeprahs entered people through blood vessels.  In order to allow this a blood vessel had to be opened.  This alone averted a lot of people from using magic.  It was nothing new to Hector.  He pulled a knife from his belt and made a shallow cut across his left forearm after pulling back his armor.  He kept his knives as sharp as a surgeon’s scalpel which made their cuts almost painless but he was no stranger to pain anyway.  Blood trickled down his arm and drops fell to the ground.

“Come to me!” said Hector with his mind.  Thoughts were how Zeprahs communicated.  Hector felt his body jolt as it was hit with a mild and harmless electric shock.  He could feel energy inside him and knew that it was the Zeprah now inhabiting his body; luckily it didn’t feel bad.

“What is your name flesh?” asked the Zeprah.  Being spirits they referred to their hosts with words like flesh.  Hector had been called all sorts of different things.  It always started like this.  Zeprahs would ask their host their name and call them something implying they were made of living material.  Zeprahs weren’t really alive or dead; something often debated amongst those who dealt with them frequently.

“I am Hector” said Hector.  The second the Zeprah entered his body his cut had already stopped bleeding and was now almost completely healed.  This was normal.  Depending on the particular Zeprah the cut might or might not leave a scar.

“I am Voo” replied the Zeprah “What are you doing in my forest?”  It wasn’t an angry question.  Zeprahs often thought they owned the regions they existed in and were naturally curious about anyone who called on them.

“We are just passing through on our way to Olgorash” said Hector

“I will help you get there Hector.  I am eager to aid you in handling danger and this is a dangerous part of Zimkir” said Voo.  For Zeprahs being inside a host was like Disney Land for a little kid.  When they weren’t in people they didn’t have a lot of power but when inside somebody they had a lot.  The magic they provided wasn’t exactly under their control instead the host used it but this was fun for them and resembled a form of intoxication which they craved.  If a Zeprah was malevolent it couldn’t physically harm its host but it could do a lot of damage to its psyche.  This one didn’t seem to have that intention it just wanted to be used.  Long ago a race of people that predated humans and Gudars inhabited and ruled Geldekru.  Little is known about this race other than that they had been powerful magicians and sorcerers.  They were now long extinct but when they died their souls became the Zeprahs and they haunted Geldekru ever since.  

“Thank you Voo.  My friend here is-” said Hector but Voo cut him off.

“Tahvah the Gudar” said Voo “I can hear you know and I detected you before you me”

“I see” said Hector

      Hector’s initial conversation with Voo only last a matter of seconds.  Zeprahs had the ability to communicate with their hosts very quickly.  It was thought that they could bend time while inside of people.  It was either that or they rapidly accelerate brain functioning of their hosts to speed things up.  Tahvah didn’t “hear” any of this conversation since it only took place in Hector’s mind.  He was curious as to the result but recognized that Hector didn’t seem to be in discomfort as he would have been if a malevolent Zeprah had entered him.

“Well?” said Tahvah looking at Hector

“Its name is Voo, it wants to help us and it’s not trying to eat my soul…” said Hector

“Very good, what is Voo’s element?” asked Tahvah, referring to the type of energy carried by the Zeprah.  This wasn’t something that a host had to ask; they could immediately sense it.

“Electricity” said Hector

“That’s a good element, very versatile” said Tahvah

“I agree.  It’s one of my favorites.  It’s also the one of the most common ones on Zibaria so I have the most experience with it” said Hector

“I think you might need it, look” said Tahvah pointing at the forest on the other side of the clearing.

     Two dozen Zimkir pygmies had walked into the field and were staring at Tahvah and Hector.  The Zimkir pygmies inhabited the forest in hundreds if not thousands of small tribes that often fought each other.  They were small; adults were only about the size of a human toddler.  Their skin was covered in a short fur and they looked like a combination ape and human with intelligence falling somewhere in between.

      Vegetation gathered from the forest was worn as camouflage when they weren’t safe in their villages where they wore colorful clothing featuring feathers from birds.  This camouflage combined with their small size made them very good at blending in with the forest which they never left.  Underneath the camouflage they wore the furs and skins of various animals for clothing.  They were a primitive people that lived off the land.  Some of the tribes were aggressive to people wandering through Zimkir; some were passive and acted only in self-defense and some were friendly to outsiders.

     Their weapons appeared simple.  They used bows made out of wood with sinew or vine strings that fired simple arrows that were basically sharpened sticks with feathers attached to the back.  In close fighting they had sharpened sticks that they could also throw as well as wooden or stone clubs.  Well their weapons weren’t fancy they were still very lethal.  The pigmies were accurate enough archers and spear throwers to defend themselves and hunt all of the game they needed to survive.  Their spears and arrow points were covered in snake venom which caused liquefaction of body tissues combined with nervous system failure which would cause other systems to shut down.  Due to the venom they didn’t have to hit their targets it vital organs to kill them.  As long as the venom got into the body it would do its job and killed quickly but also painfully.

     All except for one of the pigmies were standing side by side in a line behind the one who was apparently in charge.  The leader wore the skull of a deer with antlers for a hat that was larger than his head.  He walked towards Tahvah and Hector so that they could hear him speak and stopped.  The other pigmies followed behind him in formation.  So far they seemed to have peaceful intentions but that could change quickly.

“What you do in my trees? These MY trees, MY TREES!” said the pigmy in a thick accent as he shook his spear at Hector and Tahvah.

“We are just passing through we don’t mean you any trouble” said Hector

“You bring me gifts?” asked the pigmy

     Hector thought about this.  Sometimes pigmies would let people pass without a fight if they made an offering.  Gold was useless even though Hector had plenty.  The pigmies had no use for gold since everything they owned came from the forest.  What they did like was metal weapons because they lacked the technology to make them on their own.  Hector now wished he had taken something from the bandits he had killed earlier.  He wasn’t about to give up his sword or crossbow but he thought he could spare one of his knives since fighting this tribe could be a mistake.  While gold was of no value the pigmies were fascinated with gems.  Hector also had some rubies he had received as part of his payment after his last contract.  He decided to start with them and if that wasn’t good enough he would offer a knife.  If these attempts at diplomacy failed he might end up having to fight.

“How about rubies?” asked Hector.  He reached into a pouch on his belt and pulled out three rubies, a small price to pay to avoid catching a venomous spear or arrow which would surely kill him if it got through a soft spot in his armor.  He wasn’t sure about what would happen to Tahvah is he was poisoned and guessed the Gudar would be more resistant to it than a human.  Tahvah was watching this conversation patiently but let Hector do the talking.

“Me like rubies!” said the pigmy whose eyes widened.  “I want see close”

“Come and see them.  I promise we won’t hurt you if you don’t hurt us” said Hector

“You no hurt we no hurt” said the pigmy.  He approached Hector and Tahvah with his tribe following closely behind.

     The pigmy leader reached Hector and his tribe circled him and Tahvah.  Half were facing in and the other half were facing out watching the forest.  Hector held out an open hand with three large rubies in it.  The pigmy snatched them from Hector’s hand and held them in his open palms.  He seemed hypnotized by them and for what seemed like forever didn’t blink or take his eyes off of them.  The other pigmies watched and appeared to be equally in awe.  Then the pigmy looked up at Hector and bowed.  He stood back up fully and placed the rubies in a small bag that hung around his neck.  Hector never understood why they pigmies liked gems so much but didn’t feel that it was important.

“Me Beebi, these my trees.  You free to pass.  Where you go? What you names?” said Beebi

“I am Hector, this is Tahvah.  We are going to Olgorash” said Hector

“We no go Olgorash.  We take to trees edge but no more” said Beebi

“How far is that?” asked Tahvah

“Two suns walk.  We rest at my village this moon then walk next sun” said Beebi.  The pigmies didn’t understand that there was only one sun and moon.  Instead they believed every night a new moon came and every morning a new sun came.  This was their comprehension of night and day.  Hector had no need to explain otherwise and thought that if anything trying to explain it might anger the pigmies.

     Before anything else could happen Beebi sniffed the air.  He suddenly looked alarmed.  The other pigmies were now on high alert and we had all turned to face one section of forest with their weapons ready.  Some growled like animals.

“Bad tribe here” said Beebi “You make ready!”

     With no warning Beebi and his pigmies were shooting arrows at unseen targets in the forest.  As soon as they had started firing a volley of arrows came at them from the forest.  Hector shouldered his crossbow and was searching for targets.  Tahvah was doing the same after taking an arrow from the quiver on his back and putting it in his bow.  Hector now understood why he had arrows.  While the Zeprah bow could create its own arrows they were made of fire.  If Tahvah started a forest fire the pigmies would become enraged and kill them for sure.  At this range they could do some serious damage.  By putting a normal arrow in the bow the fire didn’t come and this wasn’t a threat.  The arrows Tahvah had which Hector was now seeing for the first time looked formidable enough.  They were long and then and made of obsidian which would fragment inside a body and cause massive bleeding and damage.

     In the first volley of arrows that came from the forest four of Beebi’s tribe fell.  Blood and liquefied guts bubbled out of their mouths and nostrils as they fell to the ground.  They screamed in pain as they writhed on the ground but were dead in seconds.  After this volley the enemy pigmy tribe charged into the clearing.  There were only about a dozen of them and they were now shooting arrows on the move which made their shots less accurate.  Two more of Beebi’s tribe fell but as they did three of the attackers were struck.  The attacking tribe now drew their spears which had been tied behind their backs with vine.  They were close; maybe seventy feet away and had closed several hundred yards with incredible speed. 

     Hector shot two of the pigmies with his crossbow and they collapsed to the ground.  Tahvah shot two more.  It was about to be a melee fight so Hector and Tahvah drew their swords.

“USE ME! USE ME! USE ME!” shouted Voo inside Hectors mind.

“Oh yeah I almost forgot about you!” replied Hector

“Stupid flesh man!” said Voo

      Hector focused on the remaining pigmies.  He raised his sword high into the air and five bolts of lightning shot out from it.  The lightning killed the rest of the enemy pigmies in an instant.  They were blasted backwards and off their feet as their bodies were electrocuted.  They hit the ground and didn’t move.  It was over.  The whole thing hadn’t lasted a minute.

“That be good fight!” said Beebi.  He and the rest of his tribe laughed hysterically.  They were all smiling and didn’t seem the least bit upset about their dead.  Hector wondered if the Zimkir pigmies killed each other merely for sport.  Savages he thought.

“I like them!  That was fun!” said Voo

“I’ll bet you do…” said Hector

“You don’t care about your fallen?” asked Tahvah.  His tone of voice made it seem that he was troubled and confused by this

“They weak, strong stand!” said Beebi as if this was obvious and Tahvah had asked a stupid question.  Tahvah just shrugged his shoulders.

     The pigmies still alive walked over to the dead from the other tribe.  What they did next made Hector squirm and Tahvah’s eyes widen.  Using their fingernails which were sharp like claws they started cutting at the skin on the top of the dead pigmies heads.  After this they pulled on the skins, scalping their defeated enemies.  They held up their trophies to the sun which was now setting then ate them.  They did this so casually that there was no doubt in Hector’s or Tahvah’s minds that this was normal for them.  Beebi didn’t take part in this ritual but didn’t stop it either.

“Ok…they are savages. But I still like them!” said Voo

“This is your forest.  You haven’t seen them do that before?” said Hector

“I don’t pay much attention to them.  They don’t seem to notice Zeprahs so I have no reason to look for them” said Voo

“They never use magic?” asked Hector

“I think they are too simple minded for that” said Voo

“Fair enough” said Hector

“Moon on way.  We go now, village close” said Beebi.  He started walking towards the forest where he and his tribe came from.  The other pigmies, Hector and Tahvah followed.  Hector wondered if the pigmies were afraid of the dark.  He also wondered what would have happened if he had ran into the now dead pigmy tribe before Beebi’s.

     Beebi and the other pigmies left their dead in the clearing without any display of mourning.  It was nothing to them.  By this time tomorrow forest scavengers would eat the remains and all that would be left of the fight would be some spears, arrows and bows.  Back in the forest it was starting to get dark.  It was also raining hard now which made visibility very poor.  This didn’t make a difference to the pigmies who knew the forest better than anyone and they continued walking like nothing had changed.

      After twenty minutes or so they reached another clearing.  It looked about the same of the last one except it was somewhat smaller and there were tents made out of wood and animal hides.  This was Beebi’s village.  The tents formed a rough square around a pond that some pigmies were swimming in.  There were ten tents in total and they were each larger than Hector or Tahvah had expected.  Pigmies were walking around the village and going in and out of the tents.  There were some children which were much smaller than human babies that ran around the village.  None of the villagers paid much attention to Hector or Tahvah.  They must have felt that if they were with Beebi he had already vetted them and they didn’t need to worry.

     Beebi lead them to one of the tents and the smell of grilled meat was in the air.  The other pigmies that were with him dispersed as soon as they were in the village and went to different tents or to see some of the children.  Hector thought it smelled good but hoped it wasn’t pigmy after learning that they didn’t have a problem with cannibalism when they were in the field.  He hadn’t had a good meal in days.  While travels his meals consisted of water, unleavened hard bread, dried meat and if he was lucky any edible wild fruit, vegetables or mushrooms he could find.  The entered the tent and saw a pit dug into the ground where a fire was burning.  Two square stones supported a large flat one that served as a grill.  On this grill there were cuts of wild boar and venison, a whole giant catfish and wild corn; all harvested from the surrounding forest.  A pigmy wearing what looked like nothing but white feathers turned the meats and corn with a stick every now and then.  Beebi walked up to the chef. 

“When food done?” asked Beebi

“Food not far” said the chef

“You eat soon friends” said Beebi.  He walked to a table that looked a lot like the grill.  This had five stone blocks around it that apparently was its chairs.  They looked heavy but Beebi pushed two pairs of them together in an attempt to make bigger seats for his larger guests that must have looked like giants to the pigmies.  It was better but the table was still low to the ground by human standards.  Beebi sat at the remaining chair and gestured for Hector and Tahvah to join him.  They took the improvised seats and felt like they were at the kids table.

     Now that they were in a safe place things became a little awkward.  Normally when a guest at someone’s table Hector liked to talk but with Beebi he didn’t know what to say.  He chose to just be polite.

“Thank you for your help today Beebi” said Hector

“Me like rubies. ME WANT EAT!” said Beebi.  He pounded a fist into the table.   

“Want raw?” asked the chef almost sarcastically

“Don’t care!” said Beebi.  He glanced at Hector and Tahvah “Like raw?” he asked

“I don’t think my stomach does” said Hector.  Beebi looked confused when he said stomach.  Hector figured the pigmies had a different word for stomach so he pointed at his and said “It doesn’t like raw.”  Beebi nodded, now understanding.

“Raw gone” said the chef.  He used a clean spear to skewer the meats and corn and dropped them in the center of Beebi’s table.  He walked back over to catfish and looked at it like it had asked him something in a different language.  The fish was bigger than him and could have fit a pigmy in its mouth.  He looked over at his spear then used it to knock the fish onto the ground.  Setting aside his cooking spear he wrapped a vine around its tail and dragged it over to Beebi’s table.  He retrieved his spear and returned to the fish.  Beebi got off of his chair and walked to the tail of the fish and grabbed the vine.  The fish stuck the spear in its mouth and lifted as Beebi lifted up on the vine.  They swung the fish onto the table then the chef left the tent after throwing dirt on the fire to extinguish it.

     Beebi grabbed a piece of venison and started to eat it.  The pigmies didn’t use silverware or plates and probably had never seen either.  Hector wondered what they drank out of when a worried thought crossed his mind as we was about to grab a piece of meat.

“Beebi what about poison?” asked Hector

“No poison for hunt.  We no stupid!” said Beebi

     Relieved and a little amused, Hector took a piece of boar meat.  It was incredibly tender and pulled apart easily in his hands.  He took a bite of the meat and found that it wasn’t seasoned but was delicious.  Tahvah was eating a piece of the corn which was very sweet and was looking at the catfish.

“Very good meat!” said Hector

“Eat lot much more!” said Beebi

“The corn is amazing” said Tahvah

     Tahvah finished his corn then pulled out a long thin knife from his belt.  He was about to cut a steak off of the catfish then stopped.  Beebi was staring at him.  Tahvah couldn’t tell if he was upset or curious.

“Can I cut the fish?” asked Tahvah

“Cut fish?” asked Beebi now definitely curious but also confused.

“He wants to get meat off of it like this” said Hector pointing at then grabbing a piece of venison

“You do what want I watch” said Beebi

“Thank you” said Tahvah.  He used the knife to cut away the skin on the catfish explosion firm and flaky white meat.  He sliced a piece of the meat off.  Beebi watched in awe.  The pigmies were used to ripping apart meat with their hands and seeing this was amazing to him.

“Me try!” said Beebi

     Tahvah handed him the blade.  Beebi cut a piece of meat off of the fish like Tahvah had done.  He looked like a little kid opening birthday presents.  Tahvah thought it was funny to see someone so impressed by a knife then thought about the pigmies’ reaction to the rubies.  After cutting meat off of the fish Beebi forgot about eating.  Instead he used the knife to cut up the other meats and a piece of corn.  Tahvah felt a little guilty now.  Hector had given the Beebi rubies but he hadn’t given him anything.

“I want you to have that” said Tahvah pointing at the knife “That’s my gift.  For your help and this food”

     Beebi was cutting a piece off of an ear of corn and stopped mid stroke.  He looked at Tahvah then at the knife then back at Tahvah.  His eyes were wide and a grin started to grow on his face.

“Me have the…” Beebi paused searching for a word for the knife “Me have cut stick?”

“Yes you can have the…cut stick” said Tahvah

“Me thank. Me thank lot!” said Beebi

     The chef returned carrying some strange looking fruit.  He saw Beebi playing with his new “cut stick” and froze.  He seemed stunned then snapped out of it.  He slowly approached the table, set the fruit down and left without saying a word.  Hector and Tahvah were trying hard not to laugh.  They couldn’t believe how surprised the pigmies were by the knife.  They had seen their swords in the battle with the other tribe but thinking back Hector realized they hadn’t cut anything with them.  He thought that it wasn’t the blade that was surprising to the pigmies but the ability to slice things and guessed he might react the same way if he had spent his life ripping meat apart with his bare hands.

     Now it was Beebi’s turn to show his guests something new.  Hector and Tahvah were looking at the strange fruit the chef had brought and neither of them recognized it.  It looked a lot like a banana except it was blue but bananas didn’t exist on Geldekru so they couldn’t make that comparison.  There were apples, oranges, berries, grapes and a ton of other fruits on Geldekru but bananas were unheard of.  Beebi saw them and started laughing.

“Cut stick new for me.  Drink fruit new you!” he said

“Drink fruit?” said Tahvah.  He was sure if anyone other than a pigmy saw knew what this strange fruit was they wouldn’t call it a drink fruit but he had never heard a knife called a cut stick before either so this didn’t surprise him.  He was still curious about this fruit though.

“Look me” said Beebi.  He took one of the drink fruits and held it in his hand with its stem pointing in the air.  Using a hand he bent the skin of the fruit just below the stem and it snapped revealing a hollow shell full of purple liquid.  It smelled like a perfectly ripe banana which was totally new to Hector and Tahvah.  Beebi put the fruit to his mouth and drank from it. “You do” he said.

     Hector and Tahvah broke the fruits open like Beebi had and took a sip.  They looked at each other in amazement.  It was sweet, creamy and tasted like nothing they had ever had before.  It also made them feel relaxed the same way a strong alcoholic drink would but without the burn on the way down or the dehydration that followed.

“This is great! Where do you get these?” said Hector

“Drink fruit tree” said Beebi

“Of course” said Tahvah

They feasted and drank until they were full.  Now Tahvah and Hector were ready to sleep.  Beebi told them they could sleep in this tent and they would head out when “New sun come”, meaning in the morning.  The chef gathered the leftover food and he and Beebi left with it.  Beebi showed Hector and Tahvah a place in the tent behind a hide that doubled as a door where they could sleep.  The area where they had eaten dinner had a dirt floor but this room’s floor was covered in fur.  There were several hides laid out that they could sleep on with extra hides and furs stacked in a corner that could be used as blankets and folded into pillows.  Despite being primitive they found the setup very comfortable and it wasn’t long before they fell asleep.

*   *   *

“New sun come! UP, UP! We go now” said Beebi.  He poked Tahvah and Hector gently with the dull side of his spear until he was sure they were awake.

     They walked outside to the center of the village where the pigmies they had fought with the day before were waiting.  Without any delay they set off for the forest.  Hector and Tahvah weren’t sure how long they had slept but they felt well rested.  They traveled all day through the forest without any trouble until “New moon come”.  This night they made a camp and ate dried boar meat the pigmies had brought with more “drink fruits”.

     The next morning Beebi told them they were close to the forest edge.  At about noon the trees were thinning out and the land started to angle downhill.  A few miles away they could make out shapes that were the buildings of Olgorash, beyond it was a cliff and the Great Ocean.  They were still too far away to see railroad which ran along the edge of Zibaria.  Beebi stopped walking and turned around to face Hector and Tahvah.

“Trees stop me stop” he said

“I understand.  You have been a great help” said Hector

“You back village?” asked Beebi

“Maybe someday” said Hector “If I can find it”

“Some new moon? Some new sun?” said Beebi

“Maybe, but I can can’t say when” said Hector

“We find you when” said Beebi.  He bowed and left for the forest with the rest of the pigmies.

“They are an interesting people” said Tahvah

“You aren’t kidding.  Brutal little things but still our friends” said Hector

“Yes I am grateful” said Tahvah

“So am I” said Hector “Now let’s go, Olgorash is right there”

“Will this be you first time there?” said Tahvah

“Yes, what should I expect?” said Hector

“Anything could happen there” said Tahvah “It is civilization but lawless”

“Great” said Hector

     They left the forest and headed downhill towards the city.  They could hear the ocean now and feel its breeze.  The ground was firm here with short green grass.  Just before night they were at the city’s western entrance.  Every hour or so a train had come or gone from the southern entrance of the city.  They hoped to catch the next train leaving.